hi there, it's been 6 months.

the past 6 months, looking back, have been such a learning experience. i didn't do much, but i realized a ton of things. i don't think i'm smart, but i think i never stop learning, and even when i don't realize it, i'm soaking up everything around me. maybe that's normal, do people normally do that? i don't know, one thing that hasn't changed is the fact that i don't have a single person i can talk to, still.

anyway, besides that, i think most of the updates i'm going to make are positive. i realized that sometimes, the good things about someone are so great, your mind blocks out all the bad and makes you blind to it, which puts you in a lot of danger. and the block won't go away until the feelings about that person do. it could take weeks, or months, or even years. yup, years. well, glad that's over.

also, i've realized that i miss the times when i didn't have a schedule. i simply did whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted, with the exception of work, of course. working overnights gave me the freedom to do that. if i didn't want to sleep, i wouldn't. i'd sleep when i was tired and wake up when i wasn't. it's strange, but ever since i met my boyfriend almost 2 years ago, it hasn't been like that. it's been the opposite. i'm an organized businesslady who must do everything when it needs to be done and not waste any time and never be late and goes crazy every so often just to mix it up a bit.

maybe it's not the fact that i have someone else to worry about that's causing it. maybe that's just a coincidence. i don't know.

excuse the incoherent babbling, i just needed something to write about and that was what just happened to appear on the paper. even though i do miss the carefree me, it's kind of rewarding to relax at the end of the day, knowing that i've done all i needed to, the house is clean, and i feel accomplished. maybe that means i'm an adult now.

or maybe that just means i'm going even crazier.